There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What... does a woman want?"

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.